Met with O last night and had a huge discussion over the lack of communication during his grumpy days. He’d already sent me a message in the afternoon stating that he owes me an apology and asking if we could meet face to face. D o you suffer from unhappiness, depression or anxiety?
Once described his PTSD to me like a constant waiting game for ghosts to jump from around the corner. It was a reminder that bad hookupsranked.com/ things happened, and that that feeling might never stop. Loud noises made it worse, like thunder, fireworks, or truck backfire.
All of the therapists Talkspace spoke to described men with depression as being more irritable on average than their female clients. Because depression tends to affect people’s sense of worth, it can make him believe he does not deserve love. Evgueni Borissenko, who has dealt with severe depression and blogged about it, talked about what this can be like in cases such as his. Maybe your partner regularly cancels plans when they feel low, which you completely understand. The challenge lies in the fact that they want you to skip out, too. You set a boundary by telling them that unless it’s an emergency, you’ll go ahead with the plans you made.
Take time for yourself when you need it
The next few weeks we would see each other at the bar, he will be with a group of friends, and he would always invite me over. One time he even held my hand for the entire night, while talking to everyone. It was such a magical night and I feel so much warmth. I think I’ve all but ruined this relationship due to my actions. I haven’t gone back yet and she’s stopped messaging me. My mental health has sabotaged me again.
Nowadays, at least in the US, lots of people at least have a friend or family member with mental health issues. Even athletes and celebrities are becoming open about it. My wife has had some anxiety and depression issues.
Yet your relationship can still involve unique challenges you might not face in other relationships. Watching your partner struggle with the weight of their distress isn’t easy, and it’s normal to want to help them find relief. That’s great since it means you’re capable of seeing them as a whole person instead of defining them by their mental health.
He told me he has piano class in the evening and he was gonna go but I offered to fetch him, and I waited for him to finish so we could go for supper. Before this we followed each other on social media. I still remember that night at the bar when we first met he made my night. We are both quite shy before the booze kicks in, he actually texted me to tell me how cute I am in person and I couldn’t sleep that night. The last two months have been really hard.
If his response seems like an attack, resist the feeling to be defensive. This is vital because attacking back can exacerbate his depression. Stay calm and ensure he knows exactly what you are trying to express.
Sunlight and physical activity can help, but they aren’t magical cures. Your advice, however well intentioned, can give your partner the impression you really don’t get what they’re going through. Good vibes and happy thoughts won’t chase these feelings away, just like imagining yourself free of congestion won’t get rid of a cold.
Update to dating someone with depression
You can support him, but he has to get his depression under control. Reduction in grumpy days would be good, and Definitley not an increase. Thanks for your comment, it means a lot. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through both anxiety and depression, having one is bad enough. But you seem like a nice guy and I think you’ll be suprised at how understanding some can be.
Any decent person will still have the urge to feel this way. You need to tell him about your emotional needs WITHOUT blaming his needs for spending time with his friends or having alone time. This might come across as rude but not everything he does is about you. Even people who go through depression do not always fully understand what the hell is happening to them. I felt clueless and helpless for several years before seeking professional help. Even after going to therapy and working on myself for multiple decades, it still kicks my ass sometimes.